I had an internship interview today and it went horribly. I thought I’d sympathize with the interviewer and try to see things from his perspective.
Hello, it’s great to meet you. Why don’t you take a seat right here.
(I have better things to do with my time, you ungrateful shit. Sit the fuck down and make this fast because I don’t have all day.)
Why did you choose to apply to our company?
(Feed me lies about how great this firm is.)
To this point, what has been your biggest challenge?
(I often obtain a sadistic form of self-satisfaction from watching you squirm as you try to think of something that won’t make you seem like a complete loser.)
What are some accomplishments that you are proud of?
(I swear to god if your awards-and-accolades monologue goes over 2 minutes I will personally punch you in the face.)
What are some skills that you think make you valuable to our company?
(Be honest, you suck at everything, don’t you? But in all seriousness, don’t go too crazy because there’s only room for one BAMF in here.)
Who do you aspire to become like in the future?
(“Steve Jobs”, “The Pope” or “Morgan Freeman” will probably get you blacklisted in each and every organization you apply to hereafter.)
Thank you so much for coming out today! If you have any further questions or concerns, feel free to email me.
(Make sure your follow-up letter doesn’t reek of desperation.)
Goodbye.
(Don’t let the door hit your undergrad ass on the way out.)
this is a blog 